So here I am again asking for advice?

I have really done it now, I have walked away for a marriage that was five months in the making. So here is the scoop, may wife and I have been arguing and really on the brink of the edge of diviorce for about month. I have jealously issues, and also trust issues, she has done things like not tell her friends about me, or lieing about that she is on the welfare system and all sort of little and big lies that has made me not trust her. She is also very diffrent around people, she acts in a total diffrent manner and treats me as if she has me wrapped. I loved this women this women also has 4 children 7,8,9,9, are the ages. I tried last night to talk to her and I did it in an inapproiate manner which I admit I tried to force her to talk to me but that was not the right way to go about it. I tried to tell her that I feel that this will not work because, of my unstability with in my life now understand there is a 20 year age gap, I am 24 she is 44 and we just reacently bought a house that needs lots of work. I first met her at the salvation army where I went to get istiant with some problems that I was having. I went in there and when she saw me she was hitting on me, I was in a despreat situation where I was needing help Because at the time I was very very unstable, drugs, booze where ramphant in my life. Anyways she decided to take me to her house to help me get on my feet. Before we went to her house she pulled up at the school to get her four girls that are 7,8,9,9. Then she introduced me then we went to her apartment. Long story short we start a serious relationship it started off slow but pick up pace very quickly, in about 3 months after we met she started to say you should marry me and I said don't you think that we need to get to know one another first maybe give it a year before marrige. But she said if you love me and I love you why does it matter. Well so we did March 1 2009. Now we recently moved from the apartment and in the process of buying this house that needs lots of work. That was three months ago We have non-stop worked and watched the kids, and taking care of the dog, the cat, trying to organize, the place is a mess, No organiztion what so ever, I was working 50 hours a week Y she stayed home with the kids for the summer, She was to work and organize the house and watch the kids why I worked at the factory which I hated, I felt like a robot and felt like I was just there bring home the money and then after I get home from working 10 hours I would work on the house until dark to help get it livable. So I left it was all to much for me to handle and now I am called a coward and to wacth out is what she says because god will repay you . I now dont know what to do please any advice would be great.